last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
