hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize