Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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