yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
