There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize