just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Randomize
