It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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