I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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