Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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