out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
