plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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