They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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