hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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