i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
