I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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