That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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