I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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