____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
