I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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