Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
this just has baby written all over it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
so much tequila, so little girl.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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