tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize