Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize