We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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