So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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