Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
