I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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