u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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