i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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