Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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