he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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