I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Is it because I queefed?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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