I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
