using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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