Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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