I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
