Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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