If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
