I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
either way he was missing a nipple.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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