Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize