hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
