i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
