Sponge bath it is.
I faked an abortion last night.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
