is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
