some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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