We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
