DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
