a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
