What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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