It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
