Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
