I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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