xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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