So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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