So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
