can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
