I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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