Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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