How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Small penises have feelings too.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
