I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
