Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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