Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
