You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize