My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm both gender and math confused
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize