thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
