Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
