You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
