Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My vagina is very pro this idea
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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